South Side Johnny's

Name:

South Side Johnny's

Address:

Phone

336-218-0111

Map

(Click for interactive map)

Web Site

Type:

Bar:

Soft drink: $3.25

Cost:

Cover Charge: $15.00

Table Dance  $10.00

Couch Dance  $30.00

Limo Rides: $185.00 (1/2 hour)

Hours:

Monday - Thursday:. 6:00 PM -  2:00 AM

Friday - Saturday: 6:00 PM - 4:00 AM

Sunday: Closed

Also closed on "major" holidays.

Pictures:

Review:

September, 2006

Darn, should have taken a new picture since the Limo rides are no longer available.

For those of us "smart a***s" who always say, "They ain't Nude, they keep their shoes on.", one of the dancers didn't . Not only did she take her shoes off, she put her feet up on the stage rail so you could get a great close up view!

All the dancers were good looking, at least one was a natural blond... if you know what I mean. Most were clean shaven so you can't tell for sure.

Both staff and dancers were pleasant. It was a fun night, still a great club. Too long between visits.

October, 2005

   Spent a very pleasant evening there. The best way to enjoy the club is to sit at the stage and have a fist full of dollar bills.

   Dancer quality varies a lot but you will find one you like.

   The couch dances are 2 for $40 and are really no different that you'd fine in any topless club. The Wize Old Man tried two girls. One was about as exciting as watching paint dry. The second dancer was a star!

July, 2004

     Under new management. Reader comments below

March, 2004

     Southside Johnnie's web has been down for some time. The domain name was not renewed. Not a good sign when a club can't afford the trivial amount it takes to have a simple web site. As of 2/28/04 the club is still open but if you're coming from out of town, best to call an make sure they're still there.

August, 2003

     Still a great club. Most of the dancers lie on their back and give you a lovely view of the entrance to heaven. A few either don't or give only a tease. Sill, for a buck a dance it still the cheapest show in town. It's also the best show in town.

or 

May, 2003

   Southside Johnnie's is one of the few totally nude "juice bars" in the state. North Carolina has always tried to regulate free speech  by holding the alcohol permit hostage. Simply put, a club can be topless and serve alcohol or nude and serve non-alcoholic drinks. If you want to drink, go to a topless club. If you want to see vaginas, this is the place. Well lit stage designer so that the dancers can lay on their back and give you a really good view. The $1.00 tip to see vagina up close is the best deal in the house!

   Table dancers here are a real waste. The couch dancers are better. You can get a totally nude couch dances but the area is dark and you'll get an air dance. You get a better view, sans panties, on the stage anyway. The Stage is floor is about 18 inches below the rails. A nice touch is that in that 18 inches are mirrors so you can even if they are dancing for someone on the other size.

   Southside Johnnie's is open to 4:00 AM so they do get a lot of customer who come in after the regular bars close. The Wize Old Man admits that the energy level goes up with any club fills up but there are real advantages to going earlier -- you miss the drunks and you don't have to wait for a dance.

   The dancers here tend to be a bit older that the 19 year olds you'll find at a topless club and some are a bit on the chunky side. But, hey, who cares, you're there to look at the gates of heaven, not their face! They are all friendly and not overly pushy. The Wize Old Man had a very pleasant time.

   A unique feature of this club are the Limousine rides. For $185, you can be driven around for a half hour with the dancer of you choice is a very private setting. The house gets $85.00 and the dancer gets $100 and you really should tip the driver another $5 or $10. For that, you'll get a very pleasant ride with a totally nude dancer. The Wize Old Man believes you should never go to a strip club unless you prepared to spend a could of hundred. Skip the $185 for the Limo ride then sit at the stage and spend the rest of your funds one dollar at a time.

   Now, the question is always can you get more? Well, for sure you won't for the basic fee! Past that, it's pay your money and take your chances. The Wize Old Man knows it's happened but he also knows it's not a guaranteed thing and the club will not let anyone remain if they know for sure they are going too far. Still, they can't be responsible for what goes outside. Very expensive for a "maybe". Way, way too expensive for "probably not".

   The decor is adequate. The lighting is good. The music is the music.

Pros:

   You can see the vagina for the same $1.00 you'd pay in other clubs for seeing tits.

Cons:

   No booze. No booze means they can let 18 year olds in. No booze. Too many non-tippers which brings down the energy. No booze.

Tip:

   Give the Limo a try if your budget permits.

   Southside Johnnie's get 2 ratings. If this were just a topless club, it's only rate a 3. As a totally nude club, it's the one to visit and gets a 5.

Readers Comments:

August, 2007

Went to South Side Johnnys the other day at best it was ok went early not many girls but that always gets better later on and it was a Thursday
but the place was dead. girls on the whole were ok not much energy felt like I was in a nude zombie movie over all the view was nice but not at the 15.00 cover

Sorry you didn't have a better time but, do have to say that $15.00 is very reasonable. Especially for a club that doesn't have alcohol sales. -- WOM

January, 2007

 I visited Southside Johnny's last night with my girl who was wanting to give me a nude dance for my birthday. She had been told by the staff over the phone that she would probably be allowed to dance. When we got there we paid the $20 admission fee. I have never been asked to pay for her before, but figured it would be worth it. The dancers were okay some better than others. When my girl asked to dance she was told that they would have to ask the manager. We waited for over an hour for an answer. In the meantime there were long periods of time when no dancer was on the stage while the music played. We began to be bored. When my girl finally asked the staff what they had decided she was told she could not dance. This was a real pity, not to mention discourteous and rude. We left shortly thereafter and were quite disappointed. -- Disappointed couple

Don't know what to say other than the WOM is not surprised they wouldn't let her dance. Here are the top three reasons why any club would have said no. 1) It takes money away from the regulars and the club, 2) it takes money away from the regulars and the club, and 3) it takes money away from the regulars and the club. And, if those three aren't enough, it also takes money away from the regulars and the club. :-)

Next time y'all want to try this either enter the amateur contest or go early and she can ask to audition.

-- WOM

August, 2006

Hey I went to Southside Johnnie's last night, which was a Monday night. I really did like what they have done to the place. However, to tell yea the truth I was looking for a limo ride. I was told that they had to stop doing them. This really bum me out, I don't mind spending the extra money to get what I want and in the limo you could.

I was shown a private room "Champagne room" . I guess I have two questions for you. The first is; Is this room like the limo rides as far as the cost and the type of entertainment I used to get in the limo. And the second part to my question is; do you have a certain girl I should request to join me in this room because I was told my normal girl has moved to another dance club.

Please E-mail me back and let me know, I work hard for my money and just looking for some fun, the way it used to be.

-- Sam

None of the clubs in North Carolina continue to offer limo rides. It's been determined that the club is responsible for what does on in the limo and, since they can't control it, they have stopped.

You're unlikely to find what you're looking for in the Champagne room either.

-- WOM

February, 2005

Will not go back anytime soon. Don't like (Black ) (Mexican )Ladies music. There was more Mexican Men around the stage. There  was profanity language. No wonder the world has so much violence listening to that music. -- BA

Well, one great review, one horrible. Have to take exception to your opinion that violence is caused by listening to music. The Wize Old Man has seen that applied to various music over just a long time. Music, comedy, even the D.A. hair cut and it's all B.S. -- The Wize Old Man

(The DA in haircut; for you youngsters, refers to a "Duck's Ass" hair cut and it was the way Elvis Pressley had his hair cut. Anyone wearing one was going straight to hell.)

July, 2004

Dear Wizeoldman,
I have visited Southside Johnny's in Greensboro three times so far, and I love the place! I most certainly was not disappointed. Your evaluation and wise remarks were quite helpful, but I would give Southside Johnny's even higher marks. As you indicated, it is a real bargain watching the dancers strip. I absolutely adored watching them expose their pretty vaginal and anal areas. I always appreciate continuing education, and like to take full advantage of such refresher courses in human female anatomy. With just a few somewhat chubby girls, the dancers were very attractive. In fact, quite a number of them were downright gorgeous! I'm salivating just thinking about those cuties. And they ultimately left nothing to the imagination when they danced! Hey, I can drink booze at home. This "juice bar" definitely is the way to go for unencumbered female pulchritude. On a scale of 1 to 10, I award Southside Johnnies a solid 9 and climbing. My only hesitancy in writing these comments is that I don't want the competition it might inspire.
  Keep up the good work. -- Name Withheld

"Unencumbered female pulchritude"! Even the Wize Old Man had to look up pulchritude.

\Pul"chri*tude\, n. [L. pulchritudo, fr. pulcher beautiful.] 1. That quality of appearance which pleases the eye; beauty; comeliness; grace; loveliness. - Dictionary.com

-- The Wize Old Man

September, 2003

Tues is 2 for 1 couch dances so go that night if you can. Some of the best girls also work on Tues for a added bonus.  If your a member cover is $5 instead of $10 from 6-7PM. Members get in free M & W until 11PM. No waitress so don't have to worry about buying any drinks. Since it's a juice bar why would you want a drink anyway? IMHO best club for the $ in NC. -- Chris

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